Just Like Mom

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. And though I don’t usually get to celebrate it with my mom in person, the fact that I haven’t seen her since March 2020 — the longest time it’s been since I gave her a hug — it makes me a bit nostalgic for my time with her.

I can’t imagine myself being a mom — nor do I really want to be, but I have so many friends becoming moms and having grown up with my mom, the sacrifices moms do every single day for their children is astounding. My mom raised six children and that couldn’t have been easy. Yet, she made it seem, not too horrific. Meanwhile, here I am stressing over my job.

I’m glad the yearning to be a mom isn’t inside of me, but I also look up so much to all my friends and cousins who have taken on the journey to become moms. It’s no fucking joke. Apart from the lack of sleep, it’s just the 24/7 dedication to the cause and I’m way too selfish/lazy to do any of that.

But more than the raising of kids, my mom ran a really awesome household and I can only strive to be a bit like her in that sense. I won’t ever be as awesome as her in the kitchen, but being able to feed myself now, makes me feel a tiny bit closer to her. She’s such an amazing chef and hostess, that the one time I had friends over at my place, I couldn’t imagine all the effort it took to throw a party. I was exhausted and it was 3 friends.

Keeping the house clean is another story (and doing my laundry) — I always joke with her now that i feel like it’s a never ending process of just doing laundry, folding laundry, vacuuming and making sure the house is dust free as I’m allergic to dust. It’s a 24 hour job (and I don’t even have kids!). How does one ever have time for herself?

I’d like to think I got my propensity for crafting from her! My knitting and crocheting came from her doing all my cross-stitch projects for me throughout elementary and maybe my belated love for the beach came from her childhood spent in Jolo — though I don’t remember going to the beach as much with my mom. Maybe in the future!

Here’s to my mom — who still amazes me with her impeccable bookkeeping and saving — something I still haven’t mastered, but maybe it’s not too late.